Good Morning All,
Matthew 18:21; “Then Peter
came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I
forgive him? As many as seven times?”
Have you ever seen the movie “Men in
Black”? The original came out in
1997. It starred Tommy Lee Jones and
Will Smith. They are two special agents
of a secret government agency that polices extraterrestrial aliens in the
United States. It is a science fiction
adventure comedy and like any good science fiction movie; it has some neat
gadgets. The one I like is a device that
looks like a big ball point pen. It is a
memory eraser and when it flashes, the memory of those who see the flash is
erased. The agents have special
sunglasses that they put on to avoid being “zapped.” I wish I had a gizmo like
that. It would come in handy sometimes.
It might help us to address one of the
toughest things for us to do; to truly forgive our brother. You hear it often, “I’ll forgive but I’ll
never forget.” Or it might take the form
of “everyone gets another chance but not a third.” There are other variations, but they all
leave the impression that forgiveness
is not complete. This might take many
forms. It might be withholding trust,
expecting failure, or even putting distance between you and the other
person. This distance might be physical
or emotional.
When we withhold trust, we tend to hold to
the past and recall every single instance of pain in our relationship. We remember how they hurt us in 1999 but we
fail to remember the love they showed us at all the other times. True forgiveness should reestablish and then
build trust. If you find yourself not
trusting the other person, you probably have not truly forgiven them.
When we expect failure, it also shows that
we are holding onto the past. When we
see a coming event and think, “well, they will hurt me again” we are expecting
failure. We do not see the other person
as being capable of not wanting to hurt us.
We think they just do not care.
We sometimes even make it so that they do fail just to show that we are
right.
The other sign that we are not forgiving is
to maintain distance from the other person.
We may avoid them in terms of being in the same room as they are or it
may be that we are emotional distant, partly because we do not trust, and we
expect them to hurt us again, so we stay back.
All these responses are human but are harmful. Jesus calls us to a higher level. His call to forgiveness is to bring about
healing. When we fail to forgive, we
keep the painful wound open and an open wound is susceptible to infection, just
like our relationships are.
So, if these sound familiar to you, repent
and ask God to help you change so you can help your relationship change. God
wants us to have healthy relationships with each other and, for us, it begins
with forgiveness. It started with God
forgiving you, now we need to forgive as well.
Father, help me to forgive
others, especially those whom I love. I
struggle, Father, so send your Spirit upon me that I may see that forgiveness
is healing, that forgiveness is restoration.
Be with those who especially struggle with letting go of past pain. Help them to step beyond the imagined pain
and into your wondrous light of grace and mercy. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray, amen.
God’s
Peace,
Pastor Bret
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